On Doubt:

This blog post should be titled: Lauren Gets Candid Real Fast.
But here we go.

This year has been a real wake-up call for me. My semester has gone from 0 to 100 real quick. I am so busy and I get overwhelmed at least once a week. And! Confession: I’ve genuinely reconsidered why exactly I chose my major. Because, boy, journalism is stressful! And I haven’t even taken Reporting yet! (Which is the rumored weed-out class for us J-School kids.)

Writing news is challenging. Going into this major I didn’t realize how much I would have to change my writing style, or how many rules I would have to follow. I’m slowly realizing that I don’t really want to be a reporter. I don’t think I could handle writing for a newspaper (or online news site) for the rest of my life.

But I love journalism, I love reading news, I love hearing investigative news stories and I love my classes so much. It honestly might be my inexperience with news writing; I might write a blog post at the end of this semester gushing about how much I can’t wait to write for a newspaper. But right now? Nope. Nope nope nope.

Do you ever feel yourself straining towards this idea or aesthetic that may never be attainable? Personally, I always have this feeling, this idea, that I’m striving towards and sometimes it occurs to me that I’ll never meet it. There’s a quote I’ve seen on the internet that comes to mind: “I am learning every day to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me and not terrify me.” I need to keep this in mind when these thoughts creep in. I need to remember that only I can make my dreams come true. No one is holding me back except for me.

Right now, I’m sticking with journalism. I’m holding out for the terrors that await in Reporting and Editing. I’m going to suck it up and write all the news articles (hopefully in time for all of the deadlines.) I can do it. (But it’s going to be hard.)

Wish me luck.

With love,

Lauren

P.S. When in doubt always: Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

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